ALL COMPANIES NEED SOOTHING SOMETIME

If that title makes you cringe in its wrongness or softness, you probably are blind to your leadership need for soothing and, in turn, your company's need for soothing as well.  Soothing means "gently calming or reducing pain and discomfort".  Sound better?

As THE top leader or a top leader, you can get so accustomed to the tension and discomfort you carry that you don't see the need for getting things calmed down and reducing organizational pain.

Today's work force is often scared, tired, cranky, and tired of being whipped around by changing strategies, sudden new leadership and profound lack of alignment in their work. And, unbelievably, most just want to do good work without the craziness.  I bet it's true for you too.

What seems to work to soothe when you can't change the dynamics at play?

It is so easy we don't do it. DEEP LISTENING to understand the frustration.
ACKNOWLEDGING the reality of your associates in every way you can.  You don't have to do a huge change to soothe.  You have to 'GET IT'.
You have to EXPLAIN THE PAIN so that people KNOW WHY it is worth living through. It helps if you KNOW YOUR OWN DISCOMFORT so that it doesn't trigger impulse reaction like anger and so you don't begin to disconnect from your people to avoid pain.  

Organizations are a collection of people.  Of course, it creates group emotion or tone.  And so many companies are in pain.  I would call "soothing" a leadership skill.

THE ULTIMATE BUSINESS DILEMMA

Which will it be?
People or productivity?
Command and control or coaching and development?
There are a thousand ways to word that choice and as many instruments to measure it.

The Amazon news of being a harsh culture brings this to the fore again.
When will we give up the dichotomy?

High demand can be exhilarating and exciting or tiring and not sustainable.
Competing with co-workers can be fun and motivating or lethally divisive.
Pushing for improvement every moment can be satisfying or ridiculous
Talking straight can be enlightening and supportive or brutal and defeating
Constant challenge with no pause to reflect or learn can become boringly heavy
Living in fear can motivate, but it is survival behavior kills the x factor of team.

Tough challenges take support of people facing them.
Heavy pressure needs the relief of lightness and humor
Long hours calls for balance of renewal time
Rating people has to involve fairness and, yes, a process. No popularity contest.

Do not even pose the question of which matters most--people or results.
Ask, How can people thrive in a high demand challenging environment?
Then answer that question.
It can be answered.

CEO DROPPINGS

I do hope that you are not blind to the fact that when you travel around and wander about your organization, you always leave something behind that tells who and what you are. So be conscious of what you CHOOSE to leave.

--Inspiration or hopeless burden

--Desire to do better work or a sense that nothing is ever good enough

--Understanding of the big picture for the company or details to drown in

--A sense of "can-do" power or a message of "watch-out"?

--A sense of purpose and hardiness of a kind of flabby "keep at it" vagueness

--Sincere appreciation or fake thank-you's

--Anxiety/fear or energy to take on more 

--Real leading or sham leadership

You are never not leaving behind a trail.

CROSS LEARNING BETWEEN FAMILY AND COMPANY

I used to do a workshop on applying principles of a healthy business to families and the principles of a healthy family to business.  

Having just had a family reunion week of sixteen people, five under seven years  old I am reminded of a few of those cross-principles.

l. Teams, tribes, companies and families need to stop all at the same time every once in a while.  Being under one roof is not enough for connection. We stopped every night before dinner to literally hold hands for 10 seconds in silence and then plan the next day. The kids would remind the adults of "hold still" time. It killed the quality of "a chicken with its head cut off "that makes both work and play frantic.
I think we have lots of frantic organizations. What is a ritual that could make yours hold still for one minute at the same time?  Think virtual.

2. Watch what you start, you may have to do it again and again. This is mostly good. 
Four years ago with the same family group I set up my basement as a game room. It was a rainy week in Maine. I am talking about a cellar with stone walls.  Well, wouldn't you know that this year each grandchild wanted a day with me in the game room rather than at the beach?  So during one of the most beautiful summer weeks in Maine, I was in a dark basement surrounded by laundry and camping equipment playing Shoots and Ladders. 
AND, happy to do it for the ritual of it.

Continuity matters. Building on something that worked once creates good DNA. Don't question why.  Don't change it. Use it. Think about this during mergers.
What odd organizational habit or ritual can provide continuity and comfort?

3. Stories matter mightily. They highlight history and learning and resilience,
special values and qualities. They help us remember why we are willing to gather and stay connected and give extra effort to belonging. (I think this is the very definition of "engagement".) Company stories generate loyalty and grit and pride and laughter. Not a video. No podium. Beer not needed. Ask questions that generate stories.  One that worked for me is, "What was your first day of work like at The Delhaize Group?"  It was meant to be a warm-up and it became a morning activity. Created more unity than the rest of the leadership retreat.

4.  Make up your agenda. Design carefully. And be willing to let it all go if the right thing begins to happen. My family planned all kinds of stuff we didn't do  and fell into magic that emerged--as in when all sixteen people had bubble wands at once and we created a bubble storm. Memorable, spontaneous and not planned.

Watch what works for your family.  Apply to work. Both are people systems.