YOU ARE NOT YOUR ROLE

After twenty days away from my world, I became acutely aware of shedding all kinds of roles--retired executive, writer or three weekly blogs, author of new book soon to be released, wife grandmother, mom, friend, sister-in-law, business woman, mentor to many. The roles fell away and it was restful, wonderfully empty time to fill (or not). I did not leave our house in Mexico except to get groceries. Not just doing nothing but taking a break from being someone.

So, this experience was on my mind when I sat down to write. I thought about the biggest blind spot most CEO's have. It's inevitable. Most people start a work life to support their personal life. That begins to shift when people are about 3-4 levels from the top position.
little by little the role becomes central and (let's say it) privilege and power are taken for granted and become invisible to you. Often, it's all others see.

I have helped many CEO's transition out of the top spot. It's easy to see how much of a person is left. Some thrash about terrified of not wearing the role and search to find another CEO position as fast as possible. Some get immediately larger as a person as if the role limited them and other top execs shrink and disappear as if they had no self other than the CEO identity. Often there is big hurt when former colleagues and friends drop the relationship like a hot potato. They loved the role, not the person. Always there is a shock and free fall of 
finding a new identity to wear, often one that fits better, is tailor made and allows more freedom to be real.

I've seen and supported too many transitions out of the top seat of power not to know that
this is THE blind spot of power. You carry projections, blame, admiration, affection, honor,
success, failure, sycophants, power to raise people up, hope. The solution, if there is one, is to grow as a person as you rise as a leader.

A LEADERSHIP OXYMORON—FAKE AUTHENTICITY

Authentic can become a product, rather than a way of being.
Some thoughts:

—Authentic is not the same as being spontaneous or very informally real.
   Being real is not necessarily authentic

—None of us are authentic all the time. Lots of what we do is rehearsed and that's a good thing.

—Authenticity does carry power with it.

—Being authentic is often triggered by an important moment

—It goes beyond knowing yourself. It involves knowing the moment and the context or what's needed and
   aligning the world with your inner self.

—It is not a method to encourage followership (as in your people like humor, tell a joke)

—It is not marketing yourself to the company. It is not about image even though many books talk as if it is.

Here is the definition of authentic: l. "An emotionally appropropriate, significant, purposive and responsible mode of living" 2. "Undisputed original--not a copy" 3. "accurate and reliable"

In authenticity, there is a demand for principle that is important (significant) and it is an on purpose stance in the world. There is something unique and original to the authentic leader. The leader is not copying nor can she be copied. There is a quality of holding steady and true, reliable, a ringing true day after day after day. There is  powerful coherence in what an authentic leader feels, says ,does, and stands for. 

The power comes from the awareness and work of the leader. You can smell it in others and feel it in yourself. You dig  deep and get aligned internally. You feel the moment when you are poised to "have it all together" and you step forward with the courage of your truth that has been distilled. At that moment, there is a power and an energy like the vibration of a note perfectly hit. A resonance goes through your organization that 

FROM MY ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG THROUGH OLD HANDOUTS

I am moving into a new office and used that move as an opportunity to shed books and materials from my 25 years in Organizational and Leadership Development. I bumped into some good ones.

I helped create the systems and structure to create a "learning organization" as an EVP of The Delhaize Group. I designed many a leadership retreat and as well as a leadership college and a hi-potential annual event and many other systemic approaches to learning across the various companies of the group.  Here are the principles that seemed to work to  have  impact on leaders that lasted into their future roles:

—Experiencing something again that refreshed, rekindled, reaffirmed their excitement about leading

—Learning with a team and giving and receiving support for learning

—Experiencing a free-flowing learning climate that made creativity and risk- taking into a learning 
   experiment not a life or death career moment

—Having  satisfying personal achievement during the learning--trying something very different that worked

—Broadening horizons with new people, new culture, new location

—Learning from feedback from others during the learning event

—Overcoming a low point in the experience and how to come back from it

—Having an intense experience which is vivid and deeply stirring enough to have a direct and lasting effect 

—Learning to learn from an experiential process that improves individual ability to learn from that experienc

—New learning that has an "aha" feel to it by guiding the learner to recognize patterns, see connections and  systems and their  interrelationships for the first time 

Training is very very very important for skills.
Learning is very very very important for top leader development

Some of the peak moments in my formal career were  designing a  learning experience and seeing the design do its work. The design carries the work and the facilitators/ teachers should be invisible and not needed by the end of the learning time together. It was so darned fun

Learning is inherently exciting and it's your job to keep your leaders excited about the business and about leading,

PS--I will be on Sabbatical in Mexico and will be on a personal retreat for the first two weeks.
I'll see you again on March 27th!